to answer your question... "I am very D/s"

Some people can only indulge in BDSM "play" if it is kept compartmentalized, away from the rest of their lives, so that they can open up and be vulnerable--and then go on their way.

Others can only open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable when they have an established, trust-filled relationship first.

And then there there's a third group that seems to have no need for boundaries at all.


While casual play/sex and polyandry are more common than not in the lifestyle, there are plenty of individuals who are monogamous, or who only play/have sex with certain people. So don't feel out of place if you think the poly thing isn't for you.

The most important thing is communication. Communicate your desires and your limits with your partner.

You say you're new to this, so I assume you still aren't certain what those desires and limits are. Just give yourself time to feel things out, and go slow. It helps to have a partner that is patient and experienced when you're starting out, because it may take some time for you to really figure out what you're looking for.


Another thing you may want to keep in mind: there is a spectrum between people who are interested in the emotional/psychological aspects of power exchange (D/s) and those who are mainly interested in the physical and sexual aspects.

If you find yourself drifting more towards the D/s side of things, you're going to have a harder time staying satisfied with just casual play. While D/s doesn't require monogamy to work, it does require significant amounts of intimacy, trust, and commitment.